Do you prefer dating at home?
If you do, don't be concerned, you're not alone. It is after all, a traditional way of dating in Namibia...just ask your mother and aunts. Most, if not all of our older generation of women dated at home. It is an accepted social practice, all over Namibia, and doesn't have to be 'unsafe' and 'scary' if done right...unless you're dating the wrong kind of men, have reasons to fear for your personal safety, or may be embarrassed by your date's behaviour.
There are a variety of reasons for dating at home. If a woman is very young, under the age of 21, economically dependent and still at school, this may be a parental stipulation. Namibian parents and guardians often grant permission for certain times of the day and / or certain days (a Saturday afternoon), is fine for 'friends' (as they're politely called) to visit. The rules are clear though, romantic interests are only allowed to visit when parents / guardians are at home and always in the public living spaces of the family only; certainly not behind closed bedroom doors.
Many Namibian women prefer dating at home because it is the safest environment they know. Single, employed women, living with family, extended family or friends, who prefer dating at home, are required to inform family members of 'the home-date' well in advance and make the necessary preparations. Yes, it is a 'date with the family' but if he is serious about a woman, this will not be a problem. As Namibian women, we know that social protocol requires that the meal be served as per the normal routine (no deviations for the guest).
Women also prefer dating at home for reasons of privacy. Widowed and divorced Namibian women are very often not keen to appear in public places as 'single' or 'in the market' (again), interacting with large groups of younger people, and as is often the case, divorces and deaths of partners are personal family tragedies; i.e. no one outside the family need know.
A first date with a new romantic interest is therefore required to be discrete and required to remain in a public living space, like the living-room, also known as a lounge or a sitting-room (in Namibia) of the house. Sitting-rooms are public visiting areas in our homes for guests, occasional visitors and everyone gathers there sooner or later to watch the evening news or 'connect' and chat with others living in the house. It is a communal area, if you will. A first date is to eat there, with other members of the family, have drinks but essentially 'the house isn't open' to him. Many modern Namibian families have spacious outside visiting areas (with guest toilet), the garden for example, to entertain colleagues, acquaintances and other members of society not living in the house. These are ideal areas for women who prefer dating at home.
Another reason some Namibian women prefer dating at home is economics. Every family has its own set of values and we're socialised within them, regardless the opinions of our friends, TV and Facebook updates. For its own ends, and given economic circumstances, many Namibian families invest large sums of money (including personal loans) in furthering the education of their daughters, to secure her future employment and economic empowerment of the family. If she should become a mother unexpectedly, or fall in harm's way unwittingly, the family's long-term financial investment is wasted. This is a discussion with merit, but suffice to say that Namibian women from struggling families, women who have earning-potential and long-term financial support for furthering their studies, should reevaluate and delay dating as a priority, based on an assessment of her economic situation.
We all know if a Namibian man is serious about a woman, the venue does not make a difference to him. He'll make time to date even if she relocates to the heart of the Namib Desert, or moves to Khorixas in the Kunene Region for work. I know of a couple, separated by 2 100 kms, he drove all that way and back, every second weekend, for a home-date.
If you do, don't be concerned, you're not alone. It is after all, a traditional way of dating in Namibia...just ask your mother and aunts. Most, if not all of our older generation of women dated at home. It is an accepted social practice, all over Namibia, and doesn't have to be 'unsafe' and 'scary' if done right...unless you're dating the wrong kind of men, have reasons to fear for your personal safety, or may be embarrassed by your date's behaviour.
There are a variety of reasons for dating at home. If a woman is very young, under the age of 21, economically dependent and still at school, this may be a parental stipulation. Namibian parents and guardians often grant permission for certain times of the day and / or certain days (a Saturday afternoon), is fine for 'friends' (as they're politely called) to visit. The rules are clear though, romantic interests are only allowed to visit when parents / guardians are at home and always in the public living spaces of the family only; certainly not behind closed bedroom doors.
Many Namibian women prefer dating at home because it is the safest environment they know. Single, employed women, living with family, extended family or friends, who prefer dating at home, are required to inform family members of 'the home-date' well in advance and make the necessary preparations. Yes, it is a 'date with the family' but if he is serious about a woman, this will not be a problem. As Namibian women, we know that social protocol requires that the meal be served as per the normal routine (no deviations for the guest).
Women also prefer dating at home for reasons of privacy. Widowed and divorced Namibian women are very often not keen to appear in public places as 'single' or 'in the market' (again), interacting with large groups of younger people, and as is often the case, divorces and deaths of partners are personal family tragedies; i.e. no one outside the family need know.
A first date with a new romantic interest is therefore required to be discrete and required to remain in a public living space, like the living-room, also known as a lounge or a sitting-room (in Namibia) of the house. Sitting-rooms are public visiting areas in our homes for guests, occasional visitors and everyone gathers there sooner or later to watch the evening news or 'connect' and chat with others living in the house. It is a communal area, if you will. A first date is to eat there, with other members of the family, have drinks but essentially 'the house isn't open' to him. Many modern Namibian families have spacious outside visiting areas (with guest toilet), the garden for example, to entertain colleagues, acquaintances and other members of society not living in the house. These are ideal areas for women who prefer dating at home.
Another reason some Namibian women prefer dating at home is economics. Every family has its own set of values and we're socialised within them, regardless the opinions of our friends, TV and Facebook updates. For its own ends, and given economic circumstances, many Namibian families invest large sums of money (including personal loans) in furthering the education of their daughters, to secure her future employment and economic empowerment of the family. If she should become a mother unexpectedly, or fall in harm's way unwittingly, the family's long-term financial investment is wasted. This is a discussion with merit, but suffice to say that Namibian women from struggling families, women who have earning-potential and long-term financial support for furthering their studies, should reevaluate and delay dating as a priority, based on an assessment of her economic situation.
We all know if a Namibian man is serious about a woman, the venue does not make a difference to him. He'll make time to date even if she relocates to the heart of the Namib Desert, or moves to Khorixas in the Kunene Region for work. I know of a couple, separated by 2 100 kms, he drove all that way and back, every second weekend, for a home-date.
That sounds great but what chances does an eighty yeyear (young) lady have to find the real love of her life?????
ReplyDelete