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DATING IN NAMIBIA: Rules to Remember (for Women)

Even though many Namibian women marry and have families while relatively young (between ages 21- 28), more and more Namibian women are single and dating, 'in the market', as they say in the West.

Historically, in the not-too-distant past (23 years ago only), the movements and personal freedoms of many Namibians were severely restricted and controlled by the Apartheid Regime occupying Namibia until 1989, but fortunately, since Independence from South Africa in 1990, the status of individuals (men and women), their rights and freedoms, are protected and enshrined in the Constitution of the Republic of Namibia. For example, inter-cultural relationships and marriage was illegal 23 years ago, punishable with imprisonment.

Despite these amazing new changes in the status of all Namibians, our society is still remarkably conservative (especially rural communities) with regards to the relationships and interaction between men and women. Our parents, extended family, siblings and friends are very much involved with our romantic choices and it is within this context, that it is advisable to keep in mind the social rules pertaining to dating in Namibia (for women).


Namibian women are still expected to be 'passive' in terms of initiating contact between the genders, and many women willingly subscribe to this approach, as this is considered good manners, displaying good breeding, respecting her family name and that of the extended family, because she is also responsible for projecting a favourable image of her home and background.

As Namibian women, we are aware and make use of other ways (non-verbal methods and communication) with which to 'engage' the opposite sex without having to send him a SMS (text message), a Facebook message, or asking him directly.

Due to the conservative nature of our society, especially concerning the 'movements' and 'whereabouts' of women, it is very important, once you're asked on a date, to inform your immediate family, parents, extended family, siblings and friends WHO he is, his full name, who he is related to and where you'll be going (and possibly what you'll be doing). As a matter of fact, as Namibian women, we're expected to provide as much information as possible to our families on the man who asked us on a date. Prepare yourself for these inquiries by asking him for all the relevant particulars. He'll understand fully and comply, if he has good intentions. Take care, hesitate, if he is reluctant to provide personal information. His intentions may not be honourable. 



Every Namibian parent will tell you repeatedly, if he arrives to take you on a date, he is expected to come into the house, every single time. He is not supposed to hoot at the gate for you to go out to him and neither is he supposed to shout for you at the gate, or from the street for you to go out. Your date is expected to present himself at your door (dogs notwithstanding) and introduce himself to your people, properly. We are very much aware of (and sensitive to) the opinions of our families and doing thus will create a favourable impression.

Take care, hesitate, if he is reluctant to come to your house, into your house, or reluctant meet with your family members, and chooses instead to remain at your gate, or in the street, or sends you a SMS to 'come outside'. His intentions may not be honourable.

That said, the dating scene in a free Namibia is vibrant and exciting, offering a variety of romantic possibilities and has lots of potential. Choose carefully, remain cautious, and you may just meet the person you enjoy spending time with...for a long time. So much has changed for the better in Namibia, and eventually perhaps, gender relationships, roles and interaction may change but the for the immediate future, it is advisable to operate within the boundaries of local custom and practice, with regards to dating.

















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