Women know modern relationships are difficult, fraught with anxiety, often do not last and lack genuine commitment because of a sudden change in lifestyle, e.g. women now seek education instead of marriage, women want financial independence and employment instead of marriage.
Yes, the social status of women has significantly improved since Namibia gained Independence in 1990; and now that we can choose our careers, postpone / manage our fertility with contraception and plan for a future, it has become extremely IMPORTANT to choose the right partners, who are supportive of our goals, share our values and who will remain committed to the modern relationship.
Sometimes, as everyone is wont to do, we make MISTAKES when choosing a partner. Modern mistakes are often costly; a verbal apology and a few fervent prayers can't erase or make them go away. Below is a list of indicators to look out for when assessing that 'special person'...
20 SIGNS the man in your life is not the man for you:
1. You sms or e-mail and it takes him hours, even days to reply or acknowledge your communication.
2. He doesn't want to share personal details of his life.
3. He complains about, is reluctant or avoids coming to your house.
4. He doesn't touch you in public.
5. He shoots down and criticises your ideas and opinions.
6. He only calls or wants to see you late at night.
7. He doesn't want you to leave your things at his place.
8. He attends major events and functions without you.
9. He refuses to make plans with you - short or long-term.
10. He cancels plans you've made at the last minute.
11. He is already involved with someone else, or married (basically 'cheating' on his partner).
12. He is not interested in physical intimacy.
13. He disappears for days, weeks and months without explanation or making contact.
14. He encourages you to date other people.
15. He doesn't make an effort to meet your friends and family, or be nice to them.
16. He threatens to harm your pets, family members, children or damages your property.
17. He threatens to harm you or uses intimidating language.
18. He verbally abuses or humiliates you in private, in public.
19. He physically, financially, sexually and emotionally abuses you.
20. He threatens to kill himself, or you, or your children, if you leave him.
There are many, many other signs you've made a poor choice in partner but the 20 signs above are good indicators where your relationship will be in 5 years' time, after the beautiful wedding is over and the smiling, well-wishing guests have disappeared.
Our biological vulnerability as women in Namibia is compounded by the fact that our population has a relatively high incidence (26%) of HIV+ individuals, STIs (sexually-transmitted infections) are quite common, and current legislation and medical technology doesn't entitle us, as women, to demand a certified clean bill of health from our current and prospective partners.
Yes, the social status of women has significantly improved since Namibia gained Independence in 1990; and now that we can choose our careers, postpone / manage our fertility with contraception and plan for a future, it has become extremely IMPORTANT to choose the right partners, who are supportive of our goals, share our values and who will remain committed to the modern relationship.
Sometimes, as everyone is wont to do, we make MISTAKES when choosing a partner. Modern mistakes are often costly; a verbal apology and a few fervent prayers can't erase or make them go away. Below is a list of indicators to look out for when assessing that 'special person'...
20 SIGNS the man in your life is not the man for you:
1. You sms or e-mail and it takes him hours, even days to reply or acknowledge your communication.
2. He doesn't want to share personal details of his life.
3. He complains about, is reluctant or avoids coming to your house.
4. He doesn't touch you in public.
5. He shoots down and criticises your ideas and opinions.
6. He only calls or wants to see you late at night.
7. He doesn't want you to leave your things at his place.
8. He attends major events and functions without you.
9. He refuses to make plans with you - short or long-term.
10. He cancels plans you've made at the last minute.
11. He is already involved with someone else, or married (basically 'cheating' on his partner).
12. He is not interested in physical intimacy.
13. He disappears for days, weeks and months without explanation or making contact.
14. He encourages you to date other people.
15. He doesn't make an effort to meet your friends and family, or be nice to them.
DANGER! GET OUT AS SOON AND AS SAFELY AS YOU CAN!
16. He threatens to harm your pets, family members, children or damages your property.
17. He threatens to harm you or uses intimidating language.
18. He verbally abuses or humiliates you in private, in public.
19. He physically, financially, sexually and emotionally abuses you.
20. He threatens to kill himself, or you, or your children, if you leave him.
There are many, many other signs you've made a poor choice in partner but the 20 signs above are good indicators where your relationship will be in 5 years' time, after the beautiful wedding is over and the smiling, well-wishing guests have disappeared.
Our biological vulnerability as women in Namibia is compounded by the fact that our population has a relatively high incidence (26%) of HIV+ individuals, STIs (sexually-transmitted infections) are quite common, and current legislation and medical technology doesn't entitle us, as women, to demand a certified clean bill of health from our current and prospective partners.
CHOOSE CAREFULLY!
YOU HAVE ONE (1) CHANCE TO LIVE!
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